His and Hers. . . . . .

Twelve years and six kids later, my husband and I are learning each other's language. The language of HIS and HERS. Why does he give me a confused look when I say that I have nothing to wear? A back rub sounds so soothing, but why do I hesitate when he offers ? When we (ladies) have to vent, why do we get mad when our spouse tries to "help"?

After twelve years of being married, I finally get "it". My husband and I understand why the other half do or say things . He gives me a confused look with a comment like, "You have a closet full of clothes". Well, he gets it now, that I'm really saying, "I have nothing NEW to wear!" Sure a back rub sounds soothing, but that's ALL I want. . . A BACK RUB! Nothing more, nothing less. But he sees it as an invitation to undress me. I vent to my husband because he is my best friend, I value his opinion and I DO want his help. But, I'm not asking him to fix the problem. . . I just want him to listen.

I speak for myself when I say that I finally get "it". I'm understanding what my husband is thinking and trying to say.

Throughout my marriage, I would occasionally leave love notes for my husband in his shoes, jacket, lunch box, etc. It was just a way to let him know that I'm going to miss him while he's at work and that I'll be thinking about him. I figure that he'll be getting it while getting ready and then give me a call on his way to work, because that's what I would do. I'm sitting at home wondering, "How come he hasn't called me yet?" He calls me an hour after being at work because that's when he's finally settled in. He wanted to have time to take it all in and find the words to express his appreciation. Is that so wrong?

I'm understanding a lot more about my relationship and especially about myself. I hope the class doesn't mind me sharing personal experiences. Looking back at all the years, "You think you know, but you have no idea!"

Will you take this person. . .?

I do. 'I do' promise to wake up to morning breath, 'I do' promise to put the toilet seat down after using the bathroom, 'I do' promise to ask for directions when we're lost, 'I do' promise to limit my shoe collection to five pairs, and most of all 'I do' promise to love and to cherish you for the rest of my life. These two words may sound simple, but you may be getting more than you bargained for in marriage.

What is marriage? Marriage, as defined in Webster's Dictionary, is the legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife. Why is it that some fear this commitment while others embrace it as they wait for the day they're able to say "I do"?

Before marriage, there is a period of dating called courtship. Of course, the first thing we want to do when meeting someone new is to make a good impression. Girls spend hours and hours looking in the mirror, picking out the right outfit and putting every strand of hair in place. Guys check for minty breath, talking to themselves in the mirror and making sure there's enough money to cover the date. This period is often the fun time. Everything is so new. Dawn Lipthrott, LCSW founder and director of The Relationship Learning Center, relates this to a new job.

"Everything seems perfect at first. When you see things that you don't like, you might deny or at least minimize them. You tend to go above and beyond what is required or expected. You feel energized, alive, and filled with new dreams. In romantic relationships, your heart is filled with love and you know that this person loves you. You both find many ways to show your love. When you're apart, you are thinking of one another. Everything feels right. Some people feel a sense of finally 'being home' or of being 'complete', feeling alive and connected."

We're exploring and finding out what makes this other person who they are. As the relationship develops, it grows into something more meaningful. You start to trust and share your innermost self with the other. It's a feeling you'd like to hold on to forever and never let it end. We then make the decision to get married.

The wedding ceremony happens. You're no longer dating or trying to impress the other. You are who you are and everything else that comes with it. After the novelty and excitement of the honeymoon wears off, your first morning as a married couple leads to questions: Who makes breakfast? You would like your eggs how? How many kids did you want?! All of a sudden, we're asking questions that probably should've been answered before we said the "I dos." . . . . .

This is me!

My name is Ario. I'm originally from the Pacific island of Samoa. Not too many people out here in the east heard of Samoa. I come from a family of five brothers and one sister. I was raised in California and moved to Hawaii in 1999 and lived there for six years. In 2005, my husband and I moved our family from Hawaii to Woodbridge, VA. I'm a stay at home mother of six beautiful children ages 10, 8, 7, 6, 4 & 1. I love to see my kids personality develop and watch them become their own person. Each day, I learn something new from them.

I'm not in school for a particular degree, although, I love Math and Writing. I'm here to be an example for my children. You can never stop learning.

I enjoy sleeping, eating, shopping and playing sports (basketball, football & volleyball). To relax, I enjoy playing the piano and sipping hot chocolate in bed.